


Unspoken

by stardropdream



Category: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-13
Updated: 2013-01-13
Packaged: 2017-11-25 07:15:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/636441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardropdream/pseuds/stardropdream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Six scenes that could have taken place between the arrival to Nihon to when they go to see Sakura in the tree. With a new understanding, Fay keeps Kurogane company and they discuss Various Important Things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unspoken

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on LJ July 3, 2008.

**I. In Waiting**

Now that Kurogane had been tended and brought to a stabilized condition, Fay didn’t feel nearly as scared as he did before. The tears were dried, for the time being. Kurogane hadn’t moved since being placed on the futon in his room. But he was breathing, which was what mattered. Fay watched the way his chest moved up and down slowly with eyes half-lidded and his mind heavy with thoughts. 

Tomoyo-hime sat beside him, smiling demurely. He had questions for her, but now was not the time. He watched her remove the bloody bandages around his torso and add fresh ones. She moved crisply, not wasting her energy on pointless movement. She wrapped the gauze around his torso, over the painful wound in his side, and gently over his shoulder, where an arm should have been. He didn’t say anything, and she didn’t have the time or energy to spare words. But it wasn’t an awkward silence, but more of a thoughtful one. 

“He’ll wake up in about an hour,” Tomoyo-hime said after she’d finished her work, slipping the robes Kurogane wore back over his shoulder, covering the bandages. She looked at Fay and smiled kindly. “Would you like to be here when he awakens?”

Fay thought about it, and then shook his head. “He’ll want to see Tomoyo-hime first. He’ll be happy to see he’s home.” 

“I see,” Tomoyo-hime said, bowing her head in thanks. “He’ll be happy to see you healthy, too.” 

“Yes,” Fay agreed. “But Tomoyo-hime must have been waiting a long time for his return.” 

“I’m glad for his return,” Tomoyo-hime agreed. “But our time together will be short.” 

“Is that so?”

“He still has much he needs to do before he can return home happily,” Tomoyo-hime said, pulling the covers up over his body. “After the necessary time in Nihon, he will continue on with you and your companions.” 

“I see,” Fay said quietly. Perhaps deep down he had a sneaking suspicion that this would be the case, but he hadn’t lingered on it. There were far more pressing matters to attend to, and it wouldn’t suffice for him to think of something like that. 

“Please excuse me,” Tomoyo-hime said kindly, standing and collecting the basket that held her medical supplies and the bloody bandages. “I’ll return shortly. Until then, I hope you do not mind waiting.” 

“Of course not,” he said. She continued to smile at him, her expression soft and understanding, before she turned on her heel and left the mage with the ninja. Once the door slid shut behind her, he turned his attention back towards the man. 

He looked remarkably young when he was sleeping, Fay realized vaguely. His face was smooth and peaceful, for in sleep he didn’t have to look grumpy or hold the weight of a world on his shoulders. Fay lifted a hand and brushed some of the fringe away from his forehead, lingering there for a moment before pulling back.

“You’re an idiot,” he told him, but there was no venom in his words. 

Fay paused and laughed, low and breathlessly. 

“Maybe I am, too,” he said finally. “You tell me all the time, anyway.” 

He shifted so he was leaning over Kurogane, studying his sleeping face. His expression softened and his fingertips grazed along his cheek and down his jaw line before dropping to his side. One strand of blond hair escaped from his ponytail slipped over his shoulder. Fay didn’t notice, as he continued to study Kurogane’s face. 

“I’m not going to run away anymore,” he whispered. “I’m going to live now.” 

Kurogane breathed in his sleep, and didn’t give any indication that he’d heard Fay’s words. Fay was glad for this. He didn’t have the courage to say it directly to Kurogane. Not yet, at least. Perhaps someday. It was strange, he’d spent his entire life running away and refusing all kindness others showed him. He wasn’t actively seeking a way to die, but he’d had no value on his life—if it was taken away from him, Fay would never have considered it ‘stolen’ but simply ‘inevitable’. He wouldn’t actively seek a way to die, but if he were to die, then that was the way it was. He’d lived his life telling himself how he’d stolen this life from his brother. 

He grabbed the limp hand on the bedspread, squeezing it tightly between his own, looking down at the sleeping ninja and the steady, reassuring metronome of his deep breathing. 

He wouldn’t run away anymore. He couldn’t run away anymore. And perhaps now as the time to accept that there was something anchoring him, something that’d kept him from running away completely all along. 

“Thank you, Kuro-sama,” he whispered and clenched his eyes shut, the smile that’d been threatening to spring forth since he’d learned Kurogane would live finally rippling across his face. He laughed, despite himself, and was grateful. 

 

 

**II. Upon Awakening**

Kurogane rubbed at his head absently as Fay plopped down onto the futon beside him. He gave him a withering glare though the fire behind his eyes wasn’t that of thinly veiled disgust but more of the passion that Kurogane possessed in all of his actions. 

“Tch,” he scoffed, dropping his hand. The warm blankets pillowed the fall, the small little ‘plop’ echoing in the empty room. “The others?” 

He’d spoken with Tomoyo-hime and gotten his head punched in by Fay. It was time for business. 

“Syaoran-kun and Mokona are sleeping,” Fay said quietly. “Sakura-chan is being cared for.” 

He looked up at Tomoyo-hime, and the princess nodded. “She’ll be placed in the tree.” 

Fay wasn’t sure what that meant, but there was understanding in Kurogane’s eyes. He nodded, his expression solemn. Fay looked between the man and the princess. Tomoyo-hime must have seen the confusion in his eyes because she smiled tenderly at him and touched his shoulder softly, the slightest pressure that was neither unwelcome nor unpleasant. 

“It’s an ancient tree that will help anchor her body to this realm, for as long as possible,” she explained. “It’s the oldest tree in Nihon, and it will give her enough life force to keep her alive, for the time being.” 

Fay’s expression melted into one of gratitude. He nodded. “Thank you.” 

“There is no need to thank me,” she said quietly, her voice soft and melodious, not unlike a bird’s in early morning song. “For now, I should check on her and do what I can to help her.” 

“And me?” Kurogane asked. 

“You should rest,” Tomoyo-hime said, “You’re already on the road to recovery, but such a journey can wait until a good night’s rest.” She turned towards Fay. “Fay-san, too.” 

“Ah,” Fay agreed, nodding. 

“Until then, I bid you both a good night,” Tomoyo-hime said with a small nod. “Fay-san, I trust you’ll be able to find your room from here.”

“Yes, thank you,” Fay said, and meant it. 

Tomoyo-hime nodded again, and with one final smile towards Kurogane, turned and walked out of the room, sliding the door shut behind them. The room was silent. Kurogane studied the door where his princess had exited, his expression hard and thoughtful. Undoubtedly he was following her presence, making sure that she made it to her destination without trouble. Kurogane had always been keenly observant of such things. Fay studied his face.

“Kuro-sama…” He waited until the ninja turned to look at him. “How are you feeling?” 

“I’m fine,” he said, his voice course and throaty. “Don’t worry about me.”

“I’m going to anyway,” Fay replied, his voice lilting in the quiet room. 

“Idiot,” Kurogane breathed and leaned back a bit, resting his back against the wall. 

“Maybe,” Fay agreed with a small shrug. “You’re an idiot, too.”

“Shut up,” Kurogane said, though his words lacked bite. Fay laughed. Kurogane grunted and shifted, lifting his one remaining arms to pull the fabric of his kimono back up his shoulder, once it began slipping. “How long have I been asleep?”

“Hours,” Fay said with a thoughtful look. “We arrived here yesterday morning. It’s well past midnight now, so I guess it’d be early morning, then.” 

“Hn.”

Fay studied his hands for a moment, his eyes tracing the curve of his fingers. “I’m glad you’re awake.”

“Like I’d let something like that keep me away for long,” Kurogane muttered.

“Kuro-sama always has to act so tough,” Fay said fondly. He turned his head and smiled at him, his eyes soft and his hands lifting to touch his uninjured shoulder, lingering there. “Even when he’s being an idiot.”

“I’m not the idiot here.”

“I’m not, either,” Fay said, and meant it. Their eyes met and Fay raised an eyebrow. Kurogane studied his expression for a long moment before he seemed to find what he was looking for. He released a tiny sigh and rolled his eyes. Fay chuckled. 

Kurogane scoffed, “Guess you’ve finally gotten some things through your thick skull.” 

“Mm,” Fay agreed. 

“‘Bout time,” Kurogane said, almost affectionately so. 

 

**III. Without sleeping**

“We make quite the pair, you know,” Fay said gently.

“Hah?”

Fay laughed. “We match.”

“You’re such an idiot.” 

“It’s easy for you to just think that,” Fay said, his words light and airy. “I bet we look good together.” 

Kurogane scoffed. Loudly. He shifted on his bed and tugged at one of the bandages wrapped around his chest. Fay gave him a warning look and he stopped, dropping his hand with the tiniest frown. Fay returned his attention to this toes, which wriggled against the cool wooden floor lightly. 

“You would say that,” Kurogane said quietly. 

Fay laughed and tilted his head, looking up at Kurogane through his bangs. Kurogane didn’t seem agitated at all—he looked rather calm and resigned. His eyes locked on Fay’s and stayed there, and Fay’s did not waver. Fay straightened just the tiniest bit.

“Don’t you agree?” Fay asked at last. 

Kurogane was quiet for an impossibly long time before he released the grunt and leaned his head back, resting it against the wall. When he opened his eyes again, he was looking curiously up at the ceiling, his eyes calculating. 

Fay didn’t say anything, and just waited. He’d grown too used to Kurogane’s silences to not know when one silence meant he was done speaking and the other meant he was collecting his words. Because Kurogane never said what he didn’t mean. 

“… Yeah,” Kurogane said at last, after a pregnant pause. And then he snorted with the tiniest roll of his eyes. 

The teasing smirk playing at Fay’s lips melted away and his expression softened warmly. Kurogane looked away, not saying anything. But the words hung in the air between them—a mutual understanding. 

“I think so, too,” Fay whispered. 

 

**IV. Until Morning**

“So what now?” Kurogane asked, looking up at the ceiling as if there was something incredibly interesting up there that he couldn’t take his eyes off of. In reality, Fay suspected he wasn’t sure what he should be looking at. 

Fay thought about the question, unsure. They’d stayed awake for hours, and it’d mostly been filled with comfortable silences—something strange and foreign. When their journey first started Fay had spoken to fill the space, to prevent from the truth seeping out in the silent corridors of conversation. After Tokyo, their silences had been cold and distant, his attempts to keep Kurogane at a distance. And now, it seemed they’d finally gained some peace, if only for the time being. Their conversations weren’t spoken, but instinctually understood. 

“It’s difficult,” Fay finally admitted and sighed, resting his back against the wall beside him. There was a bit of space between them, enough so that they weren’t quite touching but still both sitting comfortably on the futon. “I guess we’ll have to wait for Syaoran-kun to wake up. And with Sakura-chan…”

“…Yeah,” Kurogane agreed, quietly, letting the unspoken doubts hang in the air. 

“I’m not very sleepy,” Fay admitted. “There’s too much to think about.” 

“Then don’t sleep,” Kurogane muttered.

“Is Kuro-sama inviting me to spend the night with him?” Fay teased. 

Kurogane’s face turned a distinct shade redder and he looked away, sputtering. “Shut up, don’t say such pointless things.” 

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Fay continued, “Kuro-sama’s such a pervert.”

“Would you shut up?” he roared. 

Fay laughed and rolled away from the half-hearted swipe Kurogane sent in his direction. When he looked up again, his hair was wild in his face, knocked loose from the ponytail at the nape of his neck. And his eyes were just as wild, sparkling with his amusement. He smiled widely up at Kurogane and couldn’t quite contain his laughter. And it felt nice, to be able to laugh and mean it. And to smile up at him and feel that they both understood what it meant, to be able to do this. They’d walked a long path.

“So I’ll stay here, for now,” Fay decided, cushioning his chin in his hands, and smiling warmly up at Kurogane. The other man sighed, but didn’t protest. Once the laughter bubbled down, Fay returned to his original position beside Kurogane, his expression still one of amusement, but much softer now. 

“What is it?” Kurogane asked. 

Fay sighed and shifted, touching his hand to Kurogane’s shoulder. A light touch, one that wouldn’t hurt the tender wound there. Kurogane didn’t move, but Fay felt him still. His hand stayed there and he waited until Kurogane tilted his head to look at him, his face still looking rather resigned. 

“I…” Fay began, and then paused, collecting his thoughts. Kurogane waited. Fay shifted his hand so that his fingers brushed briefly along Kurogane’s jaw line. Kurogane waited still. Fay sighed and continued, “Thank you, Kuro-sama.” 

“You don’t have to thank me, idiot,” Kurogane said quietly, closing his eyes and shrugging his good shoulder. 

“Maybe you think so,” Fay said quietly, “But I’ll never be able to thank you enough for everything you’ve done. Even when I didn’t want it.”

Kurogane released a tiny sigh and opened his eyes, slanting to look at him. The red eyes studied his face for a long moment before he grunted. “So you’re not going to run away anymore?”

“I won’t,” Fay said. “Not anymore.” 

Kurogane seemed to like this answer. His face remained the same, but something flashed in his eyes. He nodded, briefly. Then said, “You don’t have to thank me for it. I did it because it was necessary, and I don’t regret doing it.”

“I know you don’t, Kuro-sama.” Fay dropped his hand, his smile slightly strained now, as if he were torn between being happy or being sad. He settled for a mixture of both. He smiled, but it was soft, and slightly wistful. His blue eye wavered for a moment before looking back up at Kurogane. “So thank you.”

Kurogane sighed. “Yeah.” 

 

**V. Among Belief**

“It’ll be morning soon,” Fay said. They hadn’t slept at all. “We can talk with Syaoran-kun and visit Sakura-chan.”

“Yeah.”

Fay sighed. “They’ll be okay. I want to believe they’ll be okay.”

“Then believe it,” Kurogane said simply. “Believe in them.” 

Fay smiled that same wistful smile and nodded. “Yes.”

 

**VI. Within Reach**

“What’re you going to do now?”

Fay considered the question. “I’m not sure.” 

“That’s not an answer.” 

The sun was rising. The light shone through the window at the far end of the room. Fay studied the progressive stream of light curiously before realizing that he was avoiding the question. He stiffened the tiniest bit, thinking over the question.

“I’ll help Syaoran-kun and Sakura-chan as best as I can,” Fay said. He knew, in the future, he’d be giving his magic away for Kurogane. Without his magic, he could still be of a use, though. He’d do all he could to help them find their happiness. Because if he could find a glimmer of happiness, they deserved all the happiness in the world. 

“Ah,” Kurogane agreed. 

Fay sighed. “… And you?”

“I’m not going to let anyone die,” Kurogane said, fixing him with a look. They were still bound together. Fay smiled, despite himself. 

“I’m glad,” Fay said at last. “I’m not going to let anyone die, either.” 

Kurogane nodded. Fay continued to smile. 

“That’s something we need to do,” Fay agreed. 

Kurogane grunted. Fay fixed him with another long, thoughtful look before inching the tiniest bit closer, observing his face. Kurogane didn’t move, though his shoulders stiffened just the tiniest bit as the mage came closer. They didn’t say anything for a long moment, but it was okay. 

“What do you want?” Fay asked at last. 

“What do _you_ want?” Kurogane said back, sounding fairly acquiescent. His face remained uncharacteristically passive as he looked over at the mage. He kept his gaze even and Fay studied his face for a long moment. Kurogane sighed. 

Fay’s smile softened just the tiniest bit. “I think you know what I want.” 

“And I think you know what my answer is,” Kurogane returned simply. “So why don’t you make a decision and stick to it for a change?” 

Fay tilted his head to the side. “Is that so?”

“If you’re going to do something, then do it,” Kurogane muttered. “Idiot.”

“Alright.”

And Fay leaned forward and kissed him and Kurogane kissed him back.


End file.
